Anything we can see or hear is an event. Likewise, anything we say or do is an event not only for us but for others. Anything we say or do in response to an event is a reaction. From as simple as rolling your eyes to as obvious as a verbal outburst, every response we have is a reaction. The following is a typical sequence where the events are followed by reactions that are driven by emotion:
Event Reaction
Comment from Someone Take it personal/feel bad about yourself
Manager scolds you Pouting or visible anger/sadness
Significant other hurts you Purposely return fire and hurt them back
Subordinate disappoints you Scold them
The following are examples of sequences in which the reactions are driven by habit:
Event Reaction
Get Hungry Eat something of poor quality that tastes good
An unexpected expense Stress or anger
Emphatic request from a child Grant the request to sooth the child
Emotional outburst from a mate Match his or her emotion with your (Crying, yelling, bad mood, etc) own or suppress your emotion completely
There are millions more examples of events and reactions. Just remember, anything you see or hear is an event and anything you say or do is a reaction. No matter how insignificant the event may seem to you, it is an event none the less.
Now…let us consider a better alternative. What if we were, as often as possible, able to insert conscious thought and purpose in the middle of the above illustrated sequence? Now the picture could look like this:
Event Conscious Thought/Purpose Reaction
Get hungry Decide health is more important than taste Over rule taste buds/decide to eat a healthy meal
Manager scolds you Consider that being over emotional Stay focused and and under-performing could result in work harder than further damage to your career path ever for your own subsequently hurt you financially sake over the long term